intense writing day

GOSH!!!... PHEW!!!! ARHHHH!!!!
finally.. finished most of my dissertation (just the first draft), i am just left with introduction and conclusion for the weekend to work on...
dedicated the whole day to my dissertation... heehee.. oh well.. i did rest a little, an hour of foster's in the afternoon seems harmless... heehee..
i realise that my energy seemed to be absorbed by the atmosphere around me... i feel so drained...

the other day, my housemates, lucie and claire were saying, that all of us are having so much school work to do... however, both of them would have their boyfriend over either every night or at least 5 times a week. (which sometimes do annoy me.. cos.. they are not paying for the rent and bills, but they are just living off us students!!!!) lucie said.. "as much as i know, i have so much work to do, but the thought of refusing charlie (her bf) from coming over is just too hard... also, even when he is here, its difficult to do work, all i wanted is to snuggle up and cuddle and stuff..." claire agreed. the latter find it difficult to do her work when her man is around. then i thought about what they said, and reflected onto myself.... i shared, " well, when my bf was around, he strongly insisted that i get my work done. and since my work area was downstairs in the living room, i wasn't allow to be in the bedroom till i managed to get some work done." lucie's and claire's reaction were envying that my bf wasnt a distraction and saying, " that's really good." i thought for a bit and agreed in a way... for, i am one of those people that occassionally need a little "AHEM AHEM" push... but sometimes... once in a while i do wish for a cuddle....badly... :(

nonetheless, its still good that he is strict and supportive with me... and i miss him ever so dearly...
sometimes seeing my friends with their other halves, i feel a bitter pain in myself... not so much of jealousy.. but more of envy... and sadness... gosh... its so difficult... but i have to be strong... hmmmf.... not easy man...

anyway.. i got to catch some sleep.... teaching tomorrow. very long day tomorrow... hmmmf...
nighty nite...